|Where am I from:||Romanian|
|Eye tint:||Big dark|
|I can speak:||Spanish|
|I like to listen:||Techno|
|My tattoo:||I don't have tattoos|
Health and wellness touch each of us differently. But I found that the blow of losing someone I trusted when I was dealing with depression or relapsing in my eating disorder felt much more intense.
Depression can make you feel lonely or like withdrawing socially. Throw a painful friend breakup on top of that and you can find yourself completely disappearing from social circles. One of the first losses I faced due to my mental illness struggles were two friendships I had up until my senior year of high school.
I struggled even seeing them in the halls at school. I felt ashamed because they decided to stop talking to me as a result of my struggles with depression.
It felt like my fault. The feeling of loss I experienced was greatly magnified because I was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts at the time. I isolated myself and cancelled plans often due to my depression and eating disorder. I put all the energy I did have into those two friendships. Still, over time, they became closer to each other as we drifted apart.
That betrayal of trust has stayed with me for a long time. My year-old self still cries some days and still feels that immense pain because I never expressed myself or got closure when I was I swallowed my hurt and acted like I was fine. Once I learned that I could use my voice to effectively mend or end relationships, I was able to let go of some unconstructive friendships and heal.
If a friend says or does something upsetting, I speak up, but I do so kindly. I think with mending any relationship, you want to try to understand their side but still get your thoughts across so you can be heard and validated. My recovery has shown me that even in the friendships that ended abruptly or badly, I can find closure, let go of a great deal of hurt that held me back, and ultimately, find the strength to continue moving forward.
And just as we can lose friends during depression, we can also make new ones by finding our voices. Ultimately, there are a ton of positive memories and people in my life that I celebrate every day. Lexie Manion is a mental health advocate, self-love and body positive influencer, and pro-recovery blogger.
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She utilizes Instagram and her website to document her depression and eating disorder recoveries. Lexie shares her life with the world to both process and heal through her own struggles.
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